Monday, April 21, 2008

MISSION TWO - Week 8 | day 1

THANK YOU. A personal thank you to those who have been coming by to support me. That's what friends a for and what I love is that even though I havn't been the greatest visitor myself you guys have kept on coming by.


A huge thank you to Suzette, Lynda, Michael, Mike, Christy, Joni, Debbie.

So onto the future. I'm really looking forward to the new shredder projects. I hope that I will still be able to contribute. AW has minimum requirements for shredder which starts next sunday. Unfortunately I will be on vacation until the 5th May 08 with no internet connectivity.

We'll have to wait and see what he has to say about that.

I have been training hard for many weeks straight and I'm going to use this as an opportunity to rest...weight training wise. I am a keen surfer and Cape St Francis is renowned as one of the best surf spots on the planet can guess what I'll be doing a lot of, as "active rest"

Great chill time with my kids and my girl and her one of the most beautiful places on earth....can't wait.

So with a renewed mind and willing spirit I dedicate myself to plunging myself into battle once more...until I claim victory


Thursday, April 17, 2008

MISSION 2 | WEEK 7 | day 1-3-5

Three entries in one...hmm after promising daily entries, some committment huh!

Where do I start. first reaction is to defend myself whilst baring my soul. My second is, why do that. If you are going to rip open your chest and expose yourself for the planet and surrounds to see then do it right, hold nothing back.

Therefore I ask for no sympathy, no tsk, tsk sounds that emanate from the front of the pallet and mean " poor baby, I understand". I do this willingly in a cathartic cleansing way and I write without thought but rather allowing the words to spill over like a somewhat murky waterfall crashing onto a rock floor far below.

I am in the 2nd round of this particular "world title fight" have been knocked down for the umteenth time.

My opponent, an unruly, undisciplined , big mouthed trash talking lout is....ME.

Of all the battles we fight in this lifetime the biggest we encounter is with OURSELVES dougal macdonald

I repeat platitudes to myself like "I am only defeated if I don't get up", and my other voice then replies with "What a lot of Crap" you loser and so it goes.

To be honest I am exhausted from the internal battles I fight daily.

Here is where we get to "what the hell is he talking about"

When I started this journey with Adam I committed to blogging my journey daily. I did that and then some...and then the old demons appeared. Xmas vacation intervened and I ate and drank whatever I wanted, with an internal committment to getting back in the saddle post vacation.

...and that's when it began. I just don't get can it be so darned easy to stick to a plan for a minimum of 84 days, perfectly and so difficult to get back to it after a couple of weeks out of the saddle.

I's not like I stopped fact my training is going better than ever. It's just that my eating is a disaster. I have a very addictive personality and one of my weaknesses was sweets so three years ago I gave up sweets completely and I mean nothing....I deliberately had some chocolates over xmas and havn't stopped eating sweet stuff since. I mean just today I've eaten 2 packets of biscuits.

The worst part is " OK, I'm going to start again tomorrow." Pfwhaaa, what nonsense. I've done that a hundred times since the vacation.

I feel like I've stepped back miles from where I was at my worst before AW.

What's even worse is the fact that I'm a fitness professional with all the book knowledge in the world. In fact my clients are getting great results whilst I'm getting fatter.

I feel fat, lazy, undisciplined, and pretty much a failure as far as this issue is concerned. I mean I've been at this a long time. Started BFL in '99. Even came third in my age group in South Africa. Next year 2nd, following year 3rd again.

"HOW DO YOU GO FROM THERE TO HERE." Yes that screaming you hear is me. this a self pity party YES...Am I looking for sympathy NO...I am sussed enough to know that only I can help me...the question I have is with accountability. I have enough experience to know that it helps in the short term. Accountability is critical as a support mechanism over a specific period of time.

I am searching for a way to get past accountability to others and trust myself. Permanently.

I watch AW and I look at the hurt he has been through and his modus operandi but I think to myself ... has he become too dependant on others for his own success.

Please don't get me wrong, I honestly think the guy is a legend but does he have a life. All his posts are about work, the blog and training. Has he restricted himself from ...say, climbing mount everest or hiking in Tibet...wait hang on, bad example...umm say, deep sea fishing in the Bahamas for a month with buddies. How would he make that part of his life without detracting from his physical quest.

Again, I have the greatest respect for the him and I know of no better example to single minded committment and dedication to a goal than what he has achieved...but what now.

Now me...I have many and varied interests, I get out and about, I have a successful property business in addition to my health and fitness business, I love to play golf with my buddies..I am about to go on a 10 day vacation to a beautiful spot on the South African cape coast. I love to socialise....blah, blah blah...

What I want to know is this..Knowing that bad habits are just waiting to smack you on the back of the head when you drop your guard, how do you get past the point where you are now in great shape and want to stay there.

Yes, yes, I know it's a choice that you make but my social circle are not bodybuilders so the healthy choice becomes more difficult to maintain.

I have not given up..not by a long shot...and I WILL find the solution, so right now I guess this is me being honest, showing integrity and just cathartically offloading..albeit to a few thousand people...okay, maybe a dozen or so.

I WILL reset my goals, I WILL be part of Shredder 2, I WILL re focus on my eating I WILL get my act together permanently

Starting MONDAY...... ;-)

Friday, April 11, 2008

MISSION TWO - Week 6 | day 5

Fully committed to my leg session today...I mean fully. The burn just feels fabulous. Heaving chest, clutching at the water bottle, willing the minutes rest to last longer.

Doing a leg session is like bashing your your head against a brick wall...feels great when you stop.

I love it.

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

MISSION TWO - Week 6 | day 4

I can feel the cool breeze whispering across my bare arms as I head out to the gym at 4.30am. It's pitch black and I'm alone, Brrrr I shiver...the rest of my gated community sleeps soundly. I love that time of the day - I feel like I own the world, it's my special time. The cool night air tells me winter is nigh. It won't be long before hoodies are de rigeur and a regular in my weekly wash.

People tell me I'm nuts.."It's not normal for people to be up at that time of the day" they say..If they have to get up occasionally to catch an early flight they corner the market on "grumpy" for hours.

Why? Things HAVE to be done and people HAVE to do them. That's it...that's the way it is, that's life.

ME...instead of bitching, I prefer to embrace change with open arms, and that includes the changing of the seasons. Hey I love warm weather as much as the next guy but how would I know that unless I had freezing weather to compare it to.

I love rainy days because they make me appreciate the sunshine. I love climbing mountains because at the top they enable me to see into beautiful valleys.

I love the occasional bad moods because only then do I know what happy feels like.

I guess what I'm saying is " I embrace adversity because if I do that...nothing can touch me."

You are only a loser when you DON'T GET UP.

I live in a land of turmoil, not only here in South Africa but on the border with our neighbour Zimbabwe.....and guess what.... I LOVE IT.

Stop whining about what you don't have and embrace what you do...then make the rest happen.

Peace out......

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

MISSION TWO - Week 6 | day 3

4 sets of 10 upper body is hard work, if you give it everything...and I gave it everything. Sitting on a bench at the end completely wasted. You know that exquisite deep muscle soreness that permeates the entire body while your mind screams out for food...lots of clean food. 40gms whey protein, huge plate of oats and some peanut butter did the job.

Great I feel better now. On with the day.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

MISSION TWO - Week 6 | day 2

Training 3 days a week right now so today was "golf" day. Who ever says that the beautiful green park like surroundings and wonderful blue skies make up for lousy golf clearly doesn't play golf.

However that was this morning. This afternoon it feels good to be writing again. Looking forward to upper body tomorrow and a good clean eating day.

See ya tomorrow

Monday, April 7, 2008


I feel like a new born....with an intellect. In other words all clean and fresh with a new success attitude.

After all this time I need to remind myself that "bad habits" are always hanging around to smack you on the back of the head.

I have to admit that earlier this year I was begining to think that Adam was getting a bit too fanantical and wondering if he had a life. Well a month or two on... Adam is still making progress on a daily basis and achieving incredible things in his life and still where I was...physically.

So a renewed commitment to AW and myself and here I am....kinda day 1 again.

Never stopped training just wasn't maiking progress. (change takes place in the kitchen, right)

Renewed positive attitude and here we go.......YAHOOOOO

Saturday, April 5, 2008

MISSION 2 - Week 5

Accountability is key...I know it, you know it, Adam Waters certainly knows it but we still...sorry I still make excuses to back out of being accountable to people. Shame on me. I've had a bad eating week coming back from easter and it the way I feel. I feel like I've let a whole lot of people down...especially me.

So... come monday I recommit to the accountability thing. Back to daily blogging, back to visiting my friends and back to focussed eating. My training is cool but bodies don't change without eating properly.

See you monday...I'll be baack.