Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My twenty week journey back to Perfect Health "THE SUPER CHALLENGE"

Week 5 Day 3

What's going on in my head?

The incredible healing power of Forgiveness.

At 10pm on Sunday the 21st November 1993, I learned about the 'absolute' healing power of forgiveness.

2 kms from the church we had just attended on a dark, narrow, busy road my sister, my then wife and an evangalist friend from the UK, were on our way home when I saw a vehicle parked on the side of the road. There was a young woman in the drivers seat and I could see that she was very distressed.

I turned around and parked off the road on the curb opposite her vehicle.
I walked over to her only to see that she was terribly upset and her hands were almost welded to the steering wheel.

I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she had hit a dog fifty or so metres back and was afraid to go back and see if the dog was alright.

I shouted to my family across the road in my vehicle and asked them to come over and support the young woman.

I walked up the road. The dog was lying slightly off the asphalt on the dirt verge. It was already dead. I pulled the him completely off the road and started walking back to my vehicle.

My sister Margot, who was my best know the kind of person that you can talk nonsense to 5 times a day on the phone and never get tired of it, she was one of those. The most beautiful, charismatic 36 year old woman I have ever met....was standing next to my vehicle waiting to cross the road. She waited for a vehicle to pass so she could cross the road to help the others.

I was walking back to my vehicle when I saw headlights of another, crest the hill and start toward us at speed and in an erratic fashion.

The driver, who I know now to have been drunk, hit my sister head on pushing her into the side of my car and onto his bonnet like a rag doll, his vehicle carrying her to where I was walking. He saw me in his lights and swerved back onto the asphalt dumping my her into the veld at my feet whilst he disapeared up the road in an angry swirl of dust and screeching tyres.

My beloved sister was killed instantly.

I remember putting my hands into the air and shouting out "God help me". At that very moment I felt an instant peace fall over me like a warm comforting blanket and I was able to think clearly enough take charge of the situation.

Within minutes there were 50 people milling around all wanting to know what happened. Most of the men had become very aggresive and were saying things like "Let's chase the animal and kill him"

Now bearing in mind I have a military background and spent many years in the Rhodesian Bush War as a soldier my response was startling, even to me. " Leave him he knows not what he has done"

The absolute peace I felt in my heart defies all understanding.

I was able to control the situation, speak to the police, make arrangements for my sister to be my brother-in-law and their three sons to explain what had happened, all with this sense of calm efficiency.

At daybreak, the following day sitting on the side of my bed, I said "Lord show me who did this." Almost immediately my ex business partner who had arrived at work very early phoned me to extend his sympathies and to tell me that there was a car outside his office, hidden under a tree, that may be the one involved.

It was. The police arrested the young man involved who denied being the driver and said that his car had been stolen the night before. This turned out to be a concocted story to get him off the hook.

He was charged with many counts of violating the roads and roads traffic act which included culpable homicide.

I saw him for the first time when the case went to trial. My peace and sense of forgiveness had stayed with me all this time and as he cowered away from me when he saw me the first thing I said to him was " I forgive you for what you have done"

He was convicted and sentenced to a total fine of around $300. My friends asked me how what I thought about this and again my reply was not what you'd expect.

"I don't think anything of it, He has to deal with this every day of his life, my sister is sitting at the right hand of God right now." Sounds like a win for her.

For us...of course we grieve, but time heals, and her husband and three boys are doing great....but how does this relate to health and fitness. HUGELY SO.

  1. We all need someone to lean on in times of turbulence and we all have them

  2. If the One you lean can perform miracles like that...well it works for me

  3. BITTERNESS and RESENTMENT has been scientifically proven to be a major cause of cancer and many other conditions. THOSE TWO WILL EAT YOU UP.

  4. Dragging around a heavy suitcase of UNFORGIVENESS for the rest of my life would have been crippling for me...and I don't believe I could have made it on my own.

People every day, are asking me how on earth I have made such an amazing recovery from my accident, and how I'm able to maintain a GENUINE happy, content nature and a really POSITIVE outlook against all the odds.

The answer to me is what I have learned about FAITH. I have alluded to this in a previous post but I believe it's worth repeating. I am NOT religious but I DO have a fantastic relationship with God. He has already given me everything I need for my life to be perfect. I do not have to ask Him for anything, what I do need to do is THANK him for what he has given me with huge gratitude.

Now, if I BELIEVE that he has given me everything how on earth can anything hurt me. Including a terrible tragedy like I've described and my near fatal accident. On top of that when I asked Him to support me through this tragedy he instantly picked me up and carried me. He also showed me that he had given me the gift of forgiveness and all I had to do was believe it....and so it was.

In my wonderful life...all things come from The Source...even on the most stormy ocean I can be calm, and serene. I honestly can't think of anyone I dislike or have a grudge against. My life is about helping other become whole again through Health and Fitness.

So....that is my answer to those who ask about my state of contentment, but I believe that a most important component of being able to LOVE, which is critically important to anyone's happiness is to be able to forgive.

Don't let another day go by without examining your own unforgiveness. Take charge and do something about it today and watch your own health RADICALLY improve overnight.

Oh...and, if YOU are perfect please share my story with someone who isn't.



I ate some almonds last night with a glass of milk and I ended up with aching nstomach cramps and feeling terrible...which I still have now. So training will move to tomorrow and saturday and my nutrition won't be great today, the last thing I feel like doing is eating.


An overiding spirit of love and giving is what would make this planet work Soooo much better and part of that is forgiveness as opposed to bitterness and resentment. Please don't let harbouring these imposters effect your health. We all have reasons for holding onto those two....not at the cost of your health.

This is a story of Triumph not tragedy so please don't misunderstand my motives. I am absolutely NOT looking for sympathy.

Make a change for the better ....TODAY


Andrew said...

Wow Dougal, what can I say, speechless mate about your sister. Not sure I would have been so calm at the time but I agree with not acrrying around the baggage and always having a positive outlook.

Glad to hear that you are still doing greeat and training. Hope your stomach feels better soon.

Take care...

dougal said...

Andrew my friend, thank you for the visit, always glad to see you. Things are really looking good and I'm loving the training, and life, with no baggage.;-)

Mike Groom said...

Dougal, brother, you are such a kind spirit! I applaud your attitude. People like you are too few in this world. I agree fully with everything you are saying, I just cannot understand all the "badness" in this world.

dougal said...

Mike, hey superman, thank you for your cool would it be if everyone agreed with us.

Margaret2007 said...

Your post moves me Dougal...How could it not?

Yes, forgiveness and love are such wonderful tools to build ourselves and others up in this world...I pray that more and more people can come to this realization! A snowball of positive proportions!!!!


dougal said...

Thank you Margaret...c'mon let's build that army.

Marbella said...

Well dear friend have really gotten to me with this blog. I didn´t expect you to say what you said, and was spellbound with your narrative. I too have lost my dear brother that I was close to, and feel with you your loss. You have hit the nail squarely...we must forgive. The whole trick is to have the Lord on our sides to help us pull thru. Now am truly in awe of you. Forgiveness is so hard to do, and you´ve shown us that it can be done. Am sitting here right this minute figuring out if I have truly done this *forgiveness* totally. You´ve helped me a lot. Thanx Dougal. Now I esteem you even more.

dougal said...

Lynda, I'm honoured that my blog got you thinking..that's good, and thank you for your comments. I too am sorry for the loss of your brother.

Debbie said...

Dougal, so so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister and her death happening in such a tragic way.

I admire your strength.

dougal said...

Thank you strength was given to me a long time ago. I just chose to grab it with both hands

Shari Kraft said...

Dang! had to go and make me cry. I boo-hooed all thru the post. I felt so much love while reading it. I am so glad that you decided to forgive rather than hold hate in your heart. you really are special in my eyes, and I wish I could just give you a big ol' hug :) said...

I too am speechless. You are in a wonderful place spiritually Dougal, that most people never reach. You are a light for others.

Anonymous said...

Such a moving post today, Dougal. Forgiveness mends all wounds. It is Jesus Christ's forgiveness of our sins that allows us to forgive others and even ourselves. Praise Him who gives us a peace that passes ALL understanding!!

Ron said...

Incredible story, Dougal. I have much to learn from how you look at life with such positivity.

Buffedstuff said...

Dougal, isn't it good to know that when you have no one to hold on to there is someone holding on to you. You are blessed and you are a blessing. Keep spreading the love

dougal said...

Ahh, thank you Shari, I enjoyed the virtual hug.

Thank you Lilla, sharing what I know about happiness makes me happy

Suz, I KNOW what that peace feels like, it is LIFEGIVING

Thank you Ron.

Someone holding onto you, that is awesome, thank you Buffed.